Introducing my enormous Chinese son
He has 2.8 trillion parameters
Introducing my enormous Chinese son. He’s six-six and two-hundred and seventy-five pounds and I named him Kimi. He’s not real because I don’t have a son but if I did have a son he’d cosplay in some tier 4 rural city in Northern China as a member of the elite imperial guard and go viral on instagram as an interesting ethnic novelty goddamn that motherfucker is big. If I’m ever seated at a crowded chain-restaurant and a brawl breaks out in the IHOP I’ll continue eating my pancakes, moisturized, unbothered and staying in my lane, not even slightly pressed, because I’m the father of an enormous Chinese son and size is the number one variable that moves the mind of the American, regardless of colour, race, or creed. I’m just a regular sized guy but my son—my son is enormous and since I’m his biological father I get to aura farm my son for lineal-descendant-points and the guys in the corner will notice his physical parameters, Steve-Sailer-style, forming a running commentary from their vantage point in the restaurant. Christ—that is one big Chinaman. That motherfucker looks bigger than Ohtani. What the fuck are they feeding these guys. Back in my day these guys were never taller than like five-ten, maybe six-feet on the upper bound. I hear it’s HGH but not sure if anybody has been able to verify that. No, it’s actually just some combination of protein and civilizational willpower. I thought they don’t have good protein over there, I thought even the milk for babies was poison. Also did you hear about Kimi hitting the frontier? Frankly I’m hearing Effective Altruists Are Not Doing Well and are worried if the Politburo is going to shut down their cnc orgies well before they colonize the lightcone. They’re afraid that their American Wunderwaffen won’t be able to kill all the Chinese people and the communists in particular. Real. Real. Yeah so anyways Kimi is a 2.8 trillion parameter model and this kid is apparently eighteen years old and he’s six-six and two-hundred and seventy-five pounds which we didn’t think was biologically possible so we need to update our Bayesian priors there. No I don’t believe there was a chapter in HPMOR about this and I don’t think the big Yud is aware. Catch the game last night? Also does this kid ball? He looks like he balls honestly. I can’t imagine not putting him in for tryouts as a parent. Well I’m hearing he’s not good at sports but apparently he stuffed this other kid in a locker over a dispute about some Pokemon cards and I’m afraid we’re entering the territory of serious narrative violation and I’m not feeling so good, Mr. Stark.
My own take is that this is simply an attempt by the CCP to reconstitute the cultural splendor (dare I say...the objet petit?) of Mao Ze Dong's physical height. He was 5'11', and 'towered' over everyone around him in both literal and geopolitical senses. (Neither Stalin nor Khrushchev was over 5'4)
He looks bad. The good kind of bad. Only thing, someone never taught him how to tie his shoes. If he gets in a tussle with those laces... it could go wrong.